Julia Hay: disappointments do not define you

Some events in our lives can seem like the end of the world. My every hope, dream, and aspiration seemed to be crushed last January when I didn’t win the Pennsylvania State Fair Queen Contest.

Putting every ounce of your passion, time, and energy into something for it to not go your way is devastating. It takes a while to recover your confidence and self worth.

Now, ten months later I realize that single most disappointing moment in my life is the best thing that ever happened to me...

Here's why:

I was so confident in myself going into states. I put everything I had into the preparation. I executed my introduction and speech just like I had practiced, and I handled the interview with grace. I couldn't figure out (and still can't) where I made mistakes. But had I won, I might not have realized how important it is to know and believe that someone else's opinion does not define you.

I wanted to be the state fair queen for so many reasons; passion for agriculture, love for fairs, etc. However, another important aspect was the ability to take a semester off college. Six more months after graduation to figure my life out sounded so perfect to me. Not winning forced me to make decisions.

Ask anyone very close to me, it took forever for me to truly get over it. Once I did, I jumped head first into every opportunity that I could find to promote my fair, 4-H, agriculture, and the fair queen program. From this came many opportunities and experiences that I never would have had.

You hear this saying all the time, but I truly realized months later, everything happens for a reason. During my reign, the queen coordinator position changed hands. Somewhere along the line a lot of important information was lost. Thankfully, I had it all. I was able to play a huge role in promoting the Somerset County Fair Queen Contest and helping two wonderful people make it a success. God knows what he's doing. Trust him.

The funny thing is, I also realized that deep down it really wasn't what I wanted anyways. Yes, being the State Fair Queen is an awesome experience. But instead, I showed my pigs and steer all spring and summer long. I was able to work alongside my best friend every single day until she left for the Army. I enjoyed my friends before we all left for college. I had fun. Had I won, I would've ran from responsibility and life by taking a semester off of college. I guarantee I would not be where I am right now.

I was humbled. What I thought to be the end of the world, made me brave, strong, and courageous.

Looking back I would not have it any other way.